Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How I Used to Like "Any Man of Mine", But Now I Don't

I haven't listened to much country music in a LONG time, but have been lately. I used to ONLY listen to country music. I can sing almost all of the lyrics from songs from the 90's...Clint Black, Reba McEntire, Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Jodee Messina, etc., etc., etc. That was my life. I "lived" in the bars...went country dancing 3-4 nights a week. I was single...I could do that. I loved hearing songs that I could relate to, or WANTED to relate to. I believed in the words of Shania Twain's song, "Any Man of Mine". I felt that I had the right to be treated a certain way. I deserved it. I deserved to have a man serenade me with smooth words like these from Tim McGraw:

It's your love
It just does somethin' to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
It's your love

Better than I was
More than I am
And all of this happened
By takin' your hand

I just knew a cowboy would sweep me off my feet and love me forever.

But I didn't marry a cowboy. And I'm glad. I didn't become the demanding woman that I thought I would be, based on the fact that I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, any time it came on the radio (in the car, or the safety of my own home of course):

Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like that way

(Read the lyrics for the entire song HERE.)

Listen to the song HERE.

What has changed? Have I become a weak woman, who does everything her husband says? Have I lowered my standards? Have I become a submissive, pathetic being who has no say in life, and just takes what has come my way?


God has changed my heart SO much, since I was that single woman from the first paragraph up there. He has shaped me and formed me, and helped me to see that what He wants is what is best for me...not always what I want. WHEW! I'm so glad He didn't give me what I wanted back then. He knew what I needed. I needed a true man, with a gentle spirit, and a heart that loved God more than anything else. I needed someone who would cherish me and love me, even when I gained weight and didn't put makeup on for a week, and failed miserably at being a good wife.

It is so dangerous to base your standard for Mr. or Mrs. Right on a song, a movie, a character in a movie, an "ideal". Those "perfect" people will somehow always let you down. When you trust in God to bring you the person who is perfect for YOU, and you think of yourself as "the chiefest of sinners", and look to God to fulfill your every need (instead of your partner), THEN you will have a good marriage.

I always looked for someone else to fulfill all of my needs, yet I wasn't willing to be the single-handed fulfiller of someone else's needs. I just wanted to be spoiled and to have what I want. I'm still a bit selfish, but I have an amazing marriage. Why? Because God has shown me what it is to think of myself as the chiefest of sinners, and not have these super high expectations of my husband, when he will only fail me. Like I have failed him. If I look to God to fulfill my every need, then I don't have to stress about meeting every one of my husband's needs all the time. All I have to do is love, forgive, respect, serve, honor, cherish, and have an amazing life with the one God chose for me! When I let go of my expectations and desires, God blessed me SO much more than I could have ever even imagined! No, it's not the stuff romantic movies or songs are made's ONE THOUSAND TIMES BETTER (and more realistic too!)!!!!!

Thank you, Lord, for my husband! You know me so well. You knew exactly what I needed.

I love you, Papa Bear! When I think of you, I think of "This Kiss". :-)

Mama Bear


  1. Aww...thanks for sharing this, Angie. Such a testimony to single women who can get caught up with the whole idea that marriage is going to completely fulfill us. I appreciate and echo that any relationship/friendship works best when both parties think of oneself as the chiefest of sinners, and remembers how much we've been forgiven. :)

  2. Linda, thank you for your comment. I still have a tendency to look to my husband to fulfill my needs, instead of looking to God. Then my selfishness kicks in, and my high expectations, and that's when I get angry or disappointed because he doesn't fulfill them as I expect him to. Then God has to put me in my place again, to let me know that that my pride is a sin. My husband is such a picture of Christ in my life! So forgiving and loving.

  3. Wow - I just stumbled on your blog and I'm so thankful I did! I'm struggling now with demanding that God overcome my infertility because gosh-darn-it, I deserve it! and even though your message was angled differently, the message is the same. I need to trust that God knows what I need and that's more important than what I want. God bless you!

  4. Karen, thank you so much for your comment. I, too have struggled with infertility. I was sure that when I got married, I wasn't going to have any problems having babies, because I was in a good relationship with a Godly man. But almost 7 years later, we still have not been able to get pregnant. God has led us to adoption, and we adopted our 4 year old almost 2 years ago, and are getting ready to do the adoption ceremony for our 16 month old. I thought I DESERVED better too, because I was "being a good person", but I'm so thankful for God showing me that none of us DESERVE anything, but because of His great love for us, He chose us to be His own, and has sanctified us through the blood of Christ. Even though we don't deserve that precious gift, He gave it anyway!

  5. Hi! Just stumbled into your blog - but WOW! What a great post! I'm 35 and single... and I feel your words were meant for me. :) Thanks for speaking frank and direct. God is obviously using you to touch people! I'm having faith God will send my guy my way when it's in his plan to do so!

  6. Thanks, Amy and Beth. Beth, I turned 34 just about 3 weeks after I got married, so I know. It's SO hard to wait, and we begin to think God has forgotten us, but when we realize that He WILL fulfill all of our needs, if we let Him, then we can rest in the knowledge that His plan is perfect. I had to give wanting to be pregnant SO BADLY to God. Once I did, and said that I trust Him, even if I never get pregnant, He blessed that faith! The very same day, we got a call about a 2 month old baby girl who was being placed in an adoptive home. Now, 14 months later, we are only 3 weeks away from her official adoption as our daughter! God is good, ALL the time! Even when our prayers don't get answered the way we think they should.