I haven't listened to much country music in a LONG time, but have been lately. I used to ONLY listen to country music. I can sing almost all of the lyrics from songs from the 90's...Clint Black, Reba McEntire, Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Jodee Messina, etc., etc., etc. That was my life. I "lived" in the bars...went country dancing 3-4 nights a week. I was single...I could do that. I loved hearing songs that I could relate to, or WANTED to relate to. I believed in the words of Shania Twain's song, "Any Man of Mine". I felt that I had the right to be treated a certain way. I deserved it. I deserved to have a man serenade me with smooth words like these from Tim McGraw:
It's your love
It just does somethin' to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
It's your love
Better than I was
More than I am
And all of this happened
By takin' your hand
I just knew a cowboy would sweep me off my feet and love me forever.
But I didn't marry a cowboy. And I'm glad. I didn't become the demanding woman that I thought I would be, based on the fact that I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, any time it came on the radio (in the car, or the safety of my own home of course):
Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I like that way
(Read the lyrics for the entire song
HERE.)
Listen to the song
HERE.
What has changed? Have I become a weak woman, who does everything her husband says? Have I lowered my standards? Have I become a submissive, pathetic being who has no say in life, and just takes what has come my way?
NO!
God has changed my heart SO much, since I was that single woman from the first paragraph up there. He has shaped me and formed me, and helped me to see that what He wants is what is best for me...not always what
I want. WHEW! I'm so glad He didn't give me what I wanted back then. He knew what I needed. I needed a true man, with a gentle spirit, and a heart that loved God more than anything else. I needed someone who would cherish me and love me, even when I gained weight and didn't put makeup on for a week, and failed miserably at being a good wife.
It is so dangerous to base your standard for Mr. or Mrs. Right on a song, a movie, a character in a movie, an "ideal". Those "perfect" people will somehow always let you down. When you trust in God to bring you the person who is perfect for YOU, and you think of yourself as "the chiefest of sinners", and look to God to fulfill your every need (instead of your partner), THEN you will have a good marriage.
I always looked for someone else to fulfill all of my needs, yet I wasn't willing to be
the single-handed fulfiller of someone else's needs. I just wanted to be spoiled and to have what I want. I'm still a bit selfish, but I have an amazing marriage. Why? Because God has shown me what it is to think of myself as the chiefest of sinners, and not have these super high expectations of my husband, when he will only fail me. Like I have failed him. If I look to God to fulfill my every need, then I don't have to stress about meeting every one of my husband's needs all the time. All I have to do is love, forgive, respect, serve, honor, cherish, and have an amazing life with the one
God chose for me! When I let go of my expectations and desires, God blessed me SO much more than I could have ever even imagined! No, it's not the stuff romantic movies or songs are made of...it's ONE THOUSAND TIMES BETTER (and more realistic too!)!!!!!
Thank you, Lord, for my husband! You know me so well. You knew exactly what I needed.
I love you, Papa Bear! When I think of you, I think of
"This Kiss". :-)
Mama Bear
